Back to the TravelBank Main Menu
              E-Mail US


Miscellaneous - Learn Travel BUZZSPEAK


LEARN BUZZSPEAK AND WOW 'EM ALL

Buzzphrase.

University of Denver publicist Bud Mayer was cleaning his desk when he came up with an invaluable aid for speech writers, public relations directors and bureaucrats. It was given to him by Tom Goodale, A DU vice chancellor.

Skillfully used, the Buzzphrase Generator will permit you to "baffle your friends and amaze reporters with your lack of clarity." It will also help in the writing of speeches guaranteed to put listeners to sleep.

"Below you will find the Buzzphrase Generator, a new language machine favored by bureaucrats; educators, politicians and a rare breed of K-Mart managers. It consists of three paragraphs of buzzwords, each numbered zero to nine."

* (0) integrated.(1) total. (2) systematized. (3) parallel. (4) functional. (5) responsive. (6) optical. (7) synchronized. (8) compatible (9) balanced. * (0) management. (1) organizational. (2) monitored. (3) reciprocal. (4) digital. (5) logic. (6) transitional. (7) incremental. (8) third-generation. (9) policy. * (0) options. (1) flexibility. (2) capability. (3) mobility. (4) programming. (5) concept. (6) timephase. (7) projection. (8) hardware. (9) contingency.

The Buzzword generator is simplicity itself. That's the beauty of it. The smallest of minds can master it in moments. An infinite number of monkey s with alike number of Buzzword Generators would ultimately duplicate every government directive ever written.

Ready, class? OK, here's how it works: Think of any three=digit number. doesn't matter what it is. Colorado Governor Roy Romer lives at 400 E. Eighth Ave. Let's run 400 through our buzzword Generator to see what happens.

We take (4) from the first paragraph, (0) from the second and (0) from the third. And what do we get? "Functional management options." Isn't that beautiful? Romer should certainly be able to work that into his next squabble with the Legislature over its usurping gubernatorial powers.

Denvers only real mayor, Mayor William McNichols, Translated by our little handy-dandy Buzzword Generator, we get "synchronized digital concept." Piece of cake to incorporate that in any explanation of budget increases.

Try it yourself!

*-www.travelbank.com-*
Reproduced, with permission, from TravelBank.com Systems.
Computer Information Utility, Travel & Recreation Information.